1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,960
[DOOR OPENS]

2
00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:10,000
[MUSIC: Dirty Cash (Money Talks)
by Adventures Of Stevie V]

3
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:19,799
♪ Money talks Ooh-ooh-ooh

4
00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,039
♪ Money talks

5
00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,079
♪ Dirty cash, I want you

6
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:25,480
♪ Dirty cash, I
need you, whoa. ♪

7
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:28,199
I've been fully booked all week.

8
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,759
Last guy, he played
for Man United.

9
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,959
Who is it? I couldn't
possibly say.

10
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,319
Boring.

11
00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:36,319
He's an athlete, Leanne.

12
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,399
And my, oh, my, could you tell.

13
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,719
My God, he was throwing me about
all over the place. It was fabulous.

14
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,239
And then at the end
of it all, HE paid ME!

15
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:45,680
Ridiculous, really.

16
00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:50,919
I feel incredible.

17
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,039
You look like a chinchilla.

18
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:56,359
Now, that is sensational.
We're getting that.

19
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,519
Oh, it's too expensive, Alma.

20
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,199
Listen, for the first time
in my life, I've got money.

21
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,079
I can buy what I want, when
I want, for who I want.

22
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,559
Let's enjoy it, Leanne.

23
00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:07,079
Woo!

24
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,479
♪ I want it all, all that
you got All at the same time

25
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:14,479
♪ I've got the looks, I've got
the brains, I'm in the spotlight

26
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,919
♪ Straight from Milan Down
to Japan just for some sushi

27
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,919
♪ I'm drinking tea, yeah
With the Queen in her jacuzzi

28
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:25,959
♪ Yeah, I'm the best and all
my friends are so successful

29
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:29,639
♪ I told you once, I told you
twice but you're forgetful

30
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:33,359
♪ I told you once, I told you
I told you once, I told you

31
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:36,999
♪ I told you once, I told
you Everybody get in line

32
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,679
♪ Baby, I'm a first-class
bitch First class

33
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,159
♪ Baby, I'm a first-class bitch

34
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,239
♪ Baby, I'm a first-class
bitch First class

35
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,559
♪ And I know you love it. ♪

36
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:49,199
Once you commit to a turban,
your whole personality changes.

37
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:52,159
I feel it. I feel
different. Better.

38
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:56,559
I mean, look at me. Look at my
posture. I'm like a peacock.

39
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,399
I'm cosmically ordering
positivity in this turban.

40
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,759
You look like a sultan.

41
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,759
You look a CEO. Do I?!

42
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,439
You do. [LEANNE GASPS]

43
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,999
Right, cocktails.
But it's not even 12.

44
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,359
I've not had second breakfast yet.
Well, call it brunch, then. Fine.

45
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,319
Acting lessons.

46
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:14,839
Thanks.

47
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,719
Alma! Ooh!

48
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,319
Bolton Acting
School. It's a sign.

49
00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:22,239
It's the turban! Right,
let's check it out.

50
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,679
♪ Baby, I'm a
first-class bitch. ♪

51
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,919
You don't think we're a bit
overdressed? No, I do not.

52
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:28,040
If anything, I think
we're underdressed.

53
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,999
And that's why, class,
you should never say yes

54
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,800
to a sex scene before
you've read the full script.

55
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:38,199
Thanks for sharing, Lesley.

56
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,199
You can sit down now, love.

57
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,959
Can you sit?

58
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,439
Well done.

59
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,360
[DOOR OPENS, THEY LAUGH]

60
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:50,519
Yeah, er, can I help? Yeah,
I saw your sign outside.

61
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:51,959
I want to be an actress.

62
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,079
Ah, no, big mistake.

63
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,999
We're not doing a
panto this year.

64
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,359
No, I want to be...
a serious actress.

65
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,959
Oh, right, yeah. I can, yeah...

66
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,319
Just you? Yeah. Not the two?

67
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,959
Only there's a lot going
on there, in't there?

68
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,440
Damn right there is.

69
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,279
Well, you've come to
the reet place, cocker.

70
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:14,639
Yeah. Creme de la creme of acting
training, this. Fabulous. Yeah.

71
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:17,199
We've had them all
here. Haven't we?

72
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,120
We had, er, Paddy McGuinness.

73
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,280
That woman off the
Halifax advert.

74
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,919
You might recognise Brian -

75
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:26,520
he played a dead
body on Doctors.

76
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,080
Right.

77
00:03:30,081 --> 00:03:31,639
All right, Brian,
stop showing off.

78
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:34,959
But it's £100 for five sessions,
and you can start Saturday.

79
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,039
Fantastic. Yeah?

80
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,639
Woo! Woo! Woo! Yeah!

81
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,359
I'll see you then. Mmm.

82
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:42,960
Cocktails? Cocktails. Right.

83
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,680
Bit early for that, isn't it?

84
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,319
Do you know, I'm not just shagging
people on this job, you know.

85
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,599
I'm actually more
of a therapist.

86
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:58,119
And how do you work
that out, then?

87
00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,479
I wouldn't share
this with Leanne.

88
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,199
She's surprisingly squeamish
about the whole thing.

89
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,039
But it's not all
glamour and posh hotels.

90
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,799
[MAN SOBS]

91
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,439
I'm an awful man!

92
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,359
I can't fuck you!

93
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,759
I can't fuck my wife!

94
00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:15,360
I'm a failure.

95
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,879
A lot of the job is just holding
old naked men in your arms

96
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,679
while they cry at midnight.

97
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:23,039
[SOBS]

98
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,159
Don't worry about it, Clive.

99
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,599
You're not the first and
you won't be the last.

100
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,159
[VOICEOVER:] Very much like going
to bed with a raw chicken.

101
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,039
And people have some
pretty niche requirements.

102
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,079
You poor, dirty little whore.

103
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:37,599
Tell me how you
coped, you dirty girl.

104
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,559
Your poor family.
How did they cope?

105
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,119
[VOICEOVER:] There's a lot of thinking
on your feet - and off them.

106
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,039
We're on family tax credits?

107
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,959
Yeah, yeah, tell me more.

108
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,039
Er... we ate a lot of Spam.

109
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,519
Ooh, yeah. Did you wash?

110
00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,079
What? Did you wash?

111
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,799
Er, no, never, never washed, no.

112
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,639
The same knickers every day.

113
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,359
Oh, I bet you did,
you dirty girl.

114
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,119
Did you have electricity?

115
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:02,239
Oh, no, no, no electricity, no.

116
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:04,399
Just candles. Ooh, yeah.

117
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,359
Yeah, yeah, I was
a poor, dirty girl

118
00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,479
who ate a lot of
Spam in candlelight.

119
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:09,920
[HE GRUNTS]

120
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,839
What's THAT look about?

121
00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,959
I just worry about you.

122
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,879
You've had a
difficult upbringing,

123
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:20,559
a bad break-up with a toxic
prick, and now you're a...

124
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:21,960
[WHISPERS:] prostitute.

125
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,999
What's my childhood
got to do with it?

126
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,639
Why do people always
psychoanalyse sex workers

127
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:30,559
and question how empowered they
are? Do you know we don't do it

128
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:32,519
to anybody else in
any other profession?

129
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,639
You don't go into a
telesales office, do you,

130
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,759
and go, "Ooh, Sue on the
phones - is she empowered

131
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,839
"or is she just
loudly selling carpets

132
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,559
"cos she's a middle child?"

133
00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:44,319
I tell you what, money
is empowering, Leanne.

134
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:45,560
Money.

135
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:51,039
Hey! I invited Chris.
Sorry, I forgot to tell you.

136
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,239
This is supposed to be our day.

137
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,800
Well, we've had all morning, and I
really want you to get to know him.

138
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,520
Hey, Alma. Hey, gorgeous.

139
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,640
She met this one on jury duty.

140
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:10,279
She usually finds an excuse to
dump a bloke after the first week.

141
00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:11,879
[CONSECUTIVE SIGHS]

142
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,399
He's got a blog.

143
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:14,639
His chin's too small.

144
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,799
He likes to cuddle after sex.

145
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,359
But it's been three weeks now,

146
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:21,919
and he still seems to be wearing
my mate's face like an oxygen mask.

147
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,999
They've started speaking
in we's instead of I's.

148
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,079
Hey! We're cooking a stew
tonight - why don't you join us?

149
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,279
No, ta.

150
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,519
I refuse to become
some sort of weird pet

151
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,639
in this sickly arrangement.

152
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,240
JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS

153
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,199
[WINE POURS]

154
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,840
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

155
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,399
Oh!

156
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,079
It's fabulous.

157
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,519
Ruby. Oh!

158
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,199
Oh, God. Sorry!

159
00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,879
It's Phil. Hello.

160
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,759
These are very nice cushions.

161
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,119
Yeah. Yeah. They
are, aren't they?

162
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,040
Yeah. Oh, yeah.

163
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,519
The sort of cushions
you'd expect to find

164
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,439
in a really plush
Parisian brothel.

165
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,400
Is that right? Well, I'll
take your word for that.

166
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,559
I've always enjoyed
the decor in here.

167
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,999
It's almost arrogant, isn't
it? It IS arrogant, yeah.

168
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,719
Cushions at the bar,

169
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:23,439
doorman who looks like a tree.

170
00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:25,359
Yeah. Yeah, he does.

171
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:28,159
I think that's the great thing about
having money, though, isn't it?

172
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,119
If you want to dress
someone up like a tree,

173
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,599
you're not mentally ill,
you're forward-thinking.

174
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,039
[HE CHUCKLES ]Yeah.

175
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,959
I mean, that was the kind of
foolish thing I did. Really? Yeah.

176
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:39,840
I'm a very indulgent
man. Mmm, I gathered.

177
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,039
So what's the maddest thing
you've ever bought, then?

178
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,240
Apart from me.

179
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:50,479
Well, I once spent 40 grand on a
painting of a very sad-looking dog.

180
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,880
Fucking hell. Why?
It just spoke to me.

181
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:58,319
Yeah, I actually put it up in my
office, and I had to take it down.

182
00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,999
It was too sad. Had to
put it in the attic.

183
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,359
I bet the dog's even
MORE sad up there.

184
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:04,720
Yeah.

185
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,240
Yeah, I'll bet she is.

186
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,959
Would you like some
champagne? I... I'd love some.

187
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,319
Yeah. Yeah? Well,
let's do champagne.

188
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,679
[CORK POPS]

189
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:18,480
[SHE MOANS AND SIGHS]

190
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,159
[HE SIGHS]

191
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,119
Oh, my God.

192
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:24,560
[HE CHUCKLES]

193
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,399
That was... That was tremendous.

194
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,679
I mean, you're quite something.

195
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,760
You're not so bad
yourself, Phil.

196
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,119
I wonder if perhaps I could, er,

197
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:40,119
I could book you
every night this week.

198
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,400
[SHE LAUGHS]


00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,599
I'm serious. What? Yeah.

200
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,159
Really? Yeah.

201
00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:47,599
No!

202
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,279
Oh... I mean, yeah.

203
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,999
I mean, sure.

204
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,599
Can I get your
private number? Er...

205
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,879
I don't want to get you
into trouble or anything,

206
00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:00,399
but just, I mean, you are
amazing. And I just...

207
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,560
I just want to send you a cheeky
text from time to time, huh? Oh...

208
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:08,799
Yeah, all right, yeah. Yeah? Yeah,
that would be nice, actually, yeah.

209
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,679
Let's have champagne.
Yeah? Yeah.

210
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:12,959
[BOTH SIGH]

211
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,199
Woo!

212
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,239
[HE LAUGHS]

213
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,839
♪ Isn't life wonderful? Mmm

214
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:24,799
♪ Isn't it fun to be
under the sun and the sky

215
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:28,999
♪ When the barometer's high?

216
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,119
♪ Ain't the world
beautiful? Mmm

217
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:38,679
♪ Looking so right that it's
quite a delight to the eye

218
00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:43,039
♪ Just to watch it go by

219
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,879
♪ Isn't life wonderful? Mmm

220
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,279
♪ Isn't it fun to be... ♪

221
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:53,359
Oh, shit. I'm supposed to go
to my mate's for tea tonight.

222
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,120
She's cooking a stroganoff
with her new fella.

223
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,639
Well, just forget that. Yeah?

224
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,039
Let's have some champagne.

225
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,999
Yeah. Fuck it,
let's do that. Yeah.

226
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,799
♪ ..delight to the eye

227
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:11,759
♪ Just to watch it go by Mmm

228
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:15,599
♪ Maybe we can explain
this midsummer... ♪

229
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,839
You're not saying hello, then?

230
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,439
I've not got time
for hellos, Anthony.

231
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,559
What's with the hat? Are you
going to the races or something?

232
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:25,439
This is how I dress now.

233
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:28,439
I'm going to much more extravagant
and sophisticated places.

234
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,159
These hats are very
run-of-the-mill there.

235
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:34,159
Hey, there is nothing
run-of-the-mill about that beast.

236
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,720
Oi!

237
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,400
Who are you going to these
fancy places with, then?

238
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,199
His name's Phil.

239
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:43,519
And he's fabulous.

240
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:47,199
♪ Love keeps this wonderful
world going round and around

241
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:51,919
♪ And around and around
and around and around... ♪

242
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:55,640
That was lovely. When you
coming back? Soon. Great.

243
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,479
Oooh. Who's that, then?

244
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,440
Daz. Daz?

245
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:06,039
Like the washing powder?

246
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,639
Oh, he's fabulous.

247
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,959
I've had sex three
times this morning,

248
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:13,879
before Spam. Ugh. No, no,
don't try and shame me, Alma.

249
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:16,799
My body is an
instrument of pleasure.

250
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:21,399
I am a sexual violin, and I need to
be played. You're not a sexy violin.

251
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,879
You're a 60-odd-year-old grandma
with a fungal nail infection.

252
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:26,039
No, it's gone.

253
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,079
I had a word with it. What?

254
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,479
I spoke to me toe.

255
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,559
Right, so I sat down last
Tuesday, put my feet up,

256
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:33,919
and it was looking at me.

257
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:37,639
So I just said, "Ey, no
more trouble from you."

258
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,319
Week later, it's gone.

259
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,639
Right, so it's nothing
to do with these, then?

260
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:42,880
Oh...

261
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:48,239
So are you free for a family
lunch on Friday? No. Why?

262
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,519
Because I've just defrosted
a loaf, and it needs eaten.

263
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,559
Listen, I'm sure your
sad little loaf can wait.

264
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:56,359
I want to take us somewhere
fabulous, Grandma. [MESSAGE ALERT]

265
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,080
[SHE SIGHS]

266
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,399
What you smiling at?

267
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,439
Oh, you're not back with
fucklump, are you? No.

268
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,719
I've met someone a
lot better, actually.

269
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,559
He's classy, he's fabulous,
he's nothing like Anthony.

270
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,079
He took me to the
theatre, Grandma.

271
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,719
Ooh! When are we going
to meet him, then?

272
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:16,759
[SHE SCOFFS ]Fuck off.

273
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:17,999
I don't need YOU telling him

274
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,119
you're a sexy violin who
argues with her toes.

275
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,999
[SHE TUTS]

276
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,640
Fuck me.

277
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,400
[BELL JINGLES]

278
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,320
I'm sorry about the other night.

279
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,079
I was with Phil, you see.

280
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,959
I cooked you a lovely meal
and you just didn't show up.

281
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,559
Chris thinks you don't
like him. I know. Sorry.

282
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:44,239
The thing about Phil is he's
just... He's all-encompassing.

283
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:46,399
You know, he's not like
your average boyfriend.

284
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,239
Alma, can we talk
about this later?

285
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:50,679
I've got 50 fucking salmon
rolls to make by noon

286
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:53,319
because SOMEBODY went
on a caterers' awayday

287
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,239
and now we've got
sushi on the menu.

288
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:58,519
It's the modern world, Leanne. I've
told you before - adapt or die.

289
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,319
Adapt or die, Leanne!

290
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,320
Fuck you, Bill! Fuck you!

291
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:07,960
He bought me a dress.

292
00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,799
He took me to the
theatre, Leanne.

293
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:14,159
Did you go to the acting
class on Saturday?

294
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,520
No, I didn't make
that, actually.

295
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:23,639
Why? Phil asked me to stay over,
and... we got carried away, and...

296
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:26,199
So you paid for it and
then you sacked it off

297
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,639
like you sacked me off.

298
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,439
What's got YOUR
knickers in a twist?

299
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:32,039
The whole point of this job
was so you could do good things

300
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:35,719
with the money, not get pissed
in wine bars with old men.

301
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,001
Well, that's not what I'm
doing, is it? I'm earning money.

302
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,439
[FISH SLAPS ON COUNTER] I know
what this is. You're jealous.

303
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,719
Of what, Alma? My
money, my freedom.

304
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,559
Look at you - covered in
fish guts on minimum wage.

305
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,679
I'm enjoying the finer things in
life, and you can't handle it.

306
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:53,039
The finer things in life?
Are you fucking mad?

307
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,919
I've had enough of listening
to this deluded waffle.

308
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,839
Phil is not your boyfriend.

309
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,639
Your job is not empowering.
It's seedy and it's gross,

310
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,719
and you are fucking
mental, Alma.

311
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:06,319
I can't believe how
judgmental you're being.

312
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,599
I thought, of all people,
you would understand.

313
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,079
Why the fuck would I understand?

314
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,879
Because you're ALWAYS
shagging about.

315
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,559
So that makes me a prostitute?!

316
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:16,119
Do you know, I don't like
you with a boyfriend.

317
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,760
You're a right boring old goat.

318
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,519
Oh! Ugh!

319
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,120
What the fuck?

320
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,599
[YELPING]

321
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,959
Fishy bitch! Fuck you, Alma.

322
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,639
Fuck you! What the...?

323
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:37,799
Oh, get off! Ladies! Stop!

324
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,199
My God!

325
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,079
Leanne, put that fish down!

326
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,359
Alma, back away from
the salmon rolls.

327
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,960
Fuck me.

328
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,400
[GROWLS]

329
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,760
[BELL JINGLES]

330
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,799
Hello, you. Hello.

331
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,359
You look nice.

332
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,359
Yes, I know. I'm
feeling fabulous.

333
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:22,199
Phil's taking me out
later. Ooh! How are you?

334
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:26,239
Not sure about this, Alma. Your
mum's too odd for a place like this.

335
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:29,480
Grandma, it's going to
be fine. Oh, here she is.

336
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,319
Mum and Jim have this
otherworldly quality.

337
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,559
They're sort of like
two bemused aliens

338
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,199
that have just crash-landed.

339
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,120
And that's how
everyone treats them.

340
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,280
Like an alien threat.

341
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,160
Oh, dear.

342
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:03,039
So, it's a
small-plates menu here,

343
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,399
which basically means
you pick your own plate

344
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:06,839
and then we share them all.

345
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,399
Do they not do big plates? I'd
rather have me own big plate.

346
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:14,599
It's like a pick 'n' mix. Yeah,
exactly. It's hot in here.

347
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,239
I'm going to have a fag.

348
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,200
I'm not surprised
you're hot in that.

349
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:22,199
It's the height of
sophistication, this, Mother.

350
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,039
Scabby Joe got it off the
back of a John Lewis truck.

351
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,519
What's that?

352
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,039
My handbag.

353
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,319
It's a lunchbox.

354
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:33,279
Not everybody thinks in boring
straight lines like you, Mother.

355
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:35,039
Hello.

356
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,759
Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to...

357
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,879
[VOICEOVER:] And if Mum
and Jim are aliens,

358
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,199
I suppose I'm some sort
of alien ambassador,

359
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,279
translating between two species.

360
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,439
Don't worry, love,
we're all OK here.

361
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,199
So what does everybody fancy?

362
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:51,399
I think I will be having
the Spanish omelette.

363
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,879
I don't eat any
egg any more, Alma.

364
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,759
Who wants to eat the unborn
child of a depressed hen?

365
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,759
Have you got anything
without bits?

366
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,319
What does she...?

367
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,559
What do you mean
without bits, Mum?

368
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,839
Something... She
can't chew, can she?

369
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,639
I can't chew owt on here either.

370
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,319
When you give birth
to a little girl,

371
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,959
you don't imagine they'll be
toothless by 40. All right.

372
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,079
I've had my teeth done, Mother.

373
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,879
I've got a Hollywood
fucking smile

374
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,999
and it's still not
good enough for you.

375
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,559
You can come back in
a minute, if you want.

376
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,479
Yeah, you've never done
a day's work in your life

377
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,199
and you've got better
teeth than all of us.

378
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,399
Well, that's because the
Government want to look after me,

379
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,319
which is more than you ever did!

380
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,600
Right, can everybody
just calm the fuck down?

381
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,799
Listen, I want us to have a nice
family meal in a fabulous place.

382
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,159
Please! Let's not ruin this

383
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,960
by being ourselves.

384
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,519
You can never let me
off the hook, can you?

385
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,879
This is exactly like when I was
seven years old... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

386
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,320
It's all my fault, in't it?

387
00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,319
No. Don't you dare.

388
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,679
They fuck you up,
your mum and dad...

389
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,519
Not here, Mum. That's not OK.

390
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,599
They may not mean
to, but they do.

391
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:11,639
[VOICEOVER:] A few years back, Mum
started this bizarre tradition

392
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,679
of calling Grandma
up on Mother's Day

393
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:16,679
and reciting Philip
Larkin, This Be The Verse.

394
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,799
Can you imagine what that
was like for my poor gran,

395
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,679
having to listen to someone

396
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,719
with no teeth recite poetry?

397
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,439
They fill you with
the faults they had

398
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:30,399
And add some extra,
just for you, Mother.

399
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,719
Now she does it every
time she's pissed off.

400
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,639
She only ever recites
the first four sentences.

401
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,279
She never gets to that
bit about compassion.

402
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:41,359
I'm not being spoken to
like this. Grandma, come on.

403
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:44,199
She's embarrassing. I'M not
being spoken to like this.

404
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,959
I'm going for a fag.
No, I'm going for a fag.

405
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,559
I said I was going for
a fag five minutes ago.

406
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,559
No, I'M going for a fag and I'm
going to get there before you.

407
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:57,079
I said I was too hot and
I wanted to get outside.

408
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,599
[VOICES FADE]

409
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,480
[PHONE ALERT]

410
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:09,799
Sorry.

411
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,399
You know, I'm actually
a very indulgent man.

412
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,999
[PHONE VIBRATES] Yeah.

413
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,119
Sorry, I've just got
to... Sorry about this.

414
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,719
I've just got to
take that. Hello?

415
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,799
Hello, Phil. It's Al.. Ruby.

416
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:26,400
Hi. Hi! I... I just wondered
why you cancelled tonight.

417
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,039
Look, I...

418
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,959
I'm leaving town tonight,
I just fancied something...

419
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,319
Sorry... someone new.

420
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:35,999
Yeah?

421
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,359
But you took my personal number.

422
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:40,959
Yeah, well, it's just
titillation, isn't it?

423
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,999
Right.

424
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,439
Titillation.

425
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,919
Sorry... Ruby, sorry, I
paid for my time with you.

426
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,919
I don't think this
should become an issue.

427
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,800
Ray wouldn't be
happy about that.

428
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,839
Yeah. No, you're absolutely right.
I'm absolutely fine, don't worry.

429
00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:00,319
Fabulous, in fact. I'm off to
a party tonight, so... great.

430
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,279
All right, thank you, bye.

431
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,040
Best of luck. Bye. Bye.

432
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,239
How about a creme brulee, Jim?

433
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:19,200
You don't have to chew that.

434
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,159
Couldn't stop laughing, me.

435
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:26,560
He nearly caught us laughing,
so I pretended to sneeze.

436
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:31,159
Which seemed to turn
him on even more!

437
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,519
Fucking did and all,
didn't it? Pervert.

438
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,759
Mind you, he were one of those
Richard Geres, though, wasn't he?

439
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,879
A what? You know the ones.

440
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,479
They like the whole
Pretty Woman fantasy,

441
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,279
try to get your personal number,

442
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:49,239
pretend to fall in love for a
night or a week or something.

443
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,799
[SIGHS]

444
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,159
Oh, my God. It's a type?

445
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,519
Of course it fucking is, love.

446
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:59,199
Right, ladies. Remember,
any trouble, give me a call.

447
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,519
Don't drink and drug
more than you can handle,

448
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,399
and look after each other.

449
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:04,759
I've never done one of these -

450
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,799
are they all right,
these party bookings?

451
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,839
You just wait and see!

452
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,720
Fucking wild.

453
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,199
[MUSIC PLAYS]

454
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:18,399
Wow!

455
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,520
It's amazing! Fabulous.

456
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,839
Ey, boys. Shall we get this
party started, then, or what?

457
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:27,399
[DOG BARKS]

458
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,399
Aww, who's this?

459
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,599
You're gorgeous, aren't you?

460
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,559
Are you ready for
a good time, boys?

461
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,120
♪ So let me tell you like this

462
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,359
♪ I'ma make you get

463
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:46,599
♪ Get high, get lit, get
drunk, get wavey, get wavey

464
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:49,799
♪ Get high, get lit, get
drunk, get wavey, get wavey

465
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:54,119
♪ Get high, get lit, get
drunk, get wavey, get wavey

466
00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:55,679
♪ Yah, stamina

467
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,719
♪ Hit a quick a
pose for the camera

468
00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:59,719
♪ Why you sittin'
down You an amateur?

469
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,999
♪ I don't play about Bring
out the next challenger

470
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,999
♪ Yah, yah, stamina

471
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,999
♪ Hit a quick pose
for the camera

472
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,559
♪ Why you sittin'
down You an amateur?

473
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,639
♪ I don't play about Bring
out the next challenger

474
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:10,839
♪ I'ma make you get

475
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,799
♪ Get high, get lit, get
drunk, get wavey, get wavey

476
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,800
♪ Get high, get lit, get
drunk, get wavey... ♪

477
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,239
Knickers off.

478
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:22,599
Bloody hell, you're
keen, aren't you? Right.

479
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,959
Oh, this is short.

480
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:26,959
This is all I've got.

481
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:28,959
This is not a
haggling situation.

482
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,480
I'm not a used car.

483
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:33,879
Fine.

484
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,400
[WALLET OPENS]

485
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,159
[NOTES RUSTLE]

486
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:41,519
Great.

487
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,279
No johnnies, though, yeah?

488
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:44,839
No, I don't do that.

489
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:46,960
Fucking 'ell. What DO you do?

490
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,480
Yeah. Ohhh...

491
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,519
Ow! No, I don't do A-levels.

492
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,759
What if I pay extra? No.

493
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:00,200
Fine.

494
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:04,679
Ow!

495
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,640
Ow! Ow! I said no!

496
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,439
What are you fucking
playing at, you cheeky twat?

497
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:17,039
I'm not telling you again. You pay
first, they're the fucking rules.

498
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,999
What's going on? I'm not paying
now. You girls are shite.

499
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,639
Fuck you.

500
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,239
Don't fucking speak
to me like that.

501
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:24,279
Aah!

502
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:25,959
Get off her! Get
your hands off her!

503
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,320
Get the fuck off her!

504
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,439
[GROANS] Run!

505
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:31,919
Hey, come back!

506
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:33,439
You're a shit shag!

507
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,159
Quick! Come on!

508
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,040
[THEY SQUEAL]

509
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:39,999
Quick!

510
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,599
He's there! Is he?

511
00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,919
Get in.

512
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,039
Oh, my God.

513
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,120
Where's Cara? Shit!

514
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,479
I've nicked his fucking dog!

515
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:53,679
What?

516
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,239
Bring that dog back here now!

517
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,599
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Why did you do that?

518
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,920
I couldn't find me shoes,
so I nicked his dog.

519
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,359
You know what, Leanne? You've
actually done us proud here.

520
00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:10,319
These look absolutely
gorgeous. Cheers, Bill.

521
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,319
Shame no fucker in
Bolton wants to eat it.

522
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:13,679
[SHE SIGHS]

523
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,919
So what are we going to do
with all this shit, then?

524
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,679
Well, I don't know.

525
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,839
Maybe salmon porridge?

526
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,199
Oh, no. Fair enough.

527
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:23,439
If they don't want this lot,

528
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:26,039
they're not going to want
pound-shop Heston, are they? No.

529
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:27,599
Oriental paella?

530
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,400
All right, Japanese
bubble and squeak?

531
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:33,280
We're closed, Alma.

532
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:39,599
All right. As long as you're
not throwing food around.

533
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:41,839
You got wasabi in
my eye t'other day.

534
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,039
And, yeah, it might
look like mushy peas,

535
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,720
but by the Christ, it's
fucking not. Sorry, Bill.

536
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,159
So what happened here, then?

537
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,519
Oh. As it turns out,

538
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,999
pensioners aren't willing to
fuck around with raw fish.

539
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,919
Fair. Nigiri? Yeah, please.

540
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,719
We've got tons of the fuckers.
I'm sure I've got a parasite.

541
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,680
"Adapt or die,
Leanne." Don't start.

542
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,599
You were right about
Phil. Oh, dear.

543
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,040
Mm.

544
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:13,720
What?

545
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,039
What?!

546
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:18,719
Give us a minute, Bill.

547
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,319
Seriously? This
is my bloody cafe.

548
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,079
Why don't you go
and do the pots?

549
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:24,280
Bloody hell.

550
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:26,960
Might as well give
you bloody keys.

551
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:29,640
That's an idea.

552
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:34,680
Turns out posh men
can be twats as well.

553
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:37,839
I'm sorry about the other day.

554
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,999
Yeah, I'm sorry too.
No, you're right.

555
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,039
I know I need to be a bit
more real about the job.

556
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:47,199
But the judginess makes it
harder to be honest about it.

557
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,599
I feel like I need to be
"happy hooker" all the time.

558
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,359
You know, because you can say when
you've had a shit day at work,

559
00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:54,719
you can say, "Oh, Alma,
I've had a shit day at work,

560
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,199
"I've had to make 50
fucking salmon rolls."

561
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,799
I can't come to you and say, "Yeah,
I've had a shit day at work too,

562
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,519
"he was insistent on
shoving his cock in my ear,

563
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,279
"and now I've got tinnitus."

564
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,839
Fucking hell, you've got
tinnitus? Well, there's certainly

565
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,439
an unusual buzzing sound
that wasn't there before.

566
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:10,920
LAUGHS

567
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:16,679
See, THIS is nice. I WANT
to laugh with you about it.

568
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,919
You're the only
person I've told.

569
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:22,959
But I understand this job
is just a means to an end.

570
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,080
I'm not going to get
lost in it any more.

571
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:29,000
Good. Yeah.

572
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,199
So how's Chris?

573
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,399
I really like him. Oh, dear.

574
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:37,239
We'll have to get
you a patch for that.

575
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:38,639
He makes me laugh.

576
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,039
He's always quoting
Robin Williams movies.

577
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:42,999
Right. Into that, are you?

578
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,480
Think I am, yeah.

579
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,879
I really want you
to be happy for me.

580
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,079
I am happy for you.

581
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,879
I am.

582
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,679
Salmon roll?

583
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:56,000
[PHONE ALERT] Yeah, fuck it. Oh!

584
00:26:58,120 --> 00:26:59,599
Do you want to buy a dog?

585
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:00,960
God, no.

586
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,520
These safe to eat?

587
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,039
♪ You know your smile, woman

588
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,679
♪ You treat me so
darn, darn fine

589
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,759
♪ You give me such an appetite

590
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,280
♪ And I need your
loving every night

591
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:32,200
♪ Mmm

592
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,759
♪ Your love gets
sweeter every day

593
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:41,639
♪ Your love gets sweeter every day
Your love gets sweeter every day

594
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,800
♪ Your love gets
sweeter every day... ♪


